Fighting for Myself: How Losing a Piece of My Femininity Triggered a New Sense of Empowerment
I was 38 years old, and no one would listen to me. I had been to the hospital three times in the past three days only to be told to go home. But there I was, doubled over in pain, my abdomen distended like I was 7 months pregnant, and I knew something was terribly wrong. As I walked out of the hospital on day three in more pain than when I entered, hunched over, clutching onto my husband’s arm for support, I knew if I didn’t get help, I would die.
When I went to the hospital on day one in massive pain, my skin tinted a dull green, I was informed that I had an ovarian cyst rupture. Struggling with PCOS my entire life, I knew this was something I may need to deal with. They sent me home and said the blood would absorb back into my body, and I would be okay. The next day, in worse shape, I went back to the same ER and was refused another scan. The nurse laughed at me when I pointed out how large my abdomen was, and said, “I wish I were as small as you.” I was shocked. I was disregarded and couldn’t help but wonder what my fate would be if I couldn’t get someone to listen.
By day three, dealing with excruciating pain, I went back and was met with accusations of drug seeking and discharged once again. Luckily for me, also having Multiple Sclerosis, I had an appointment that day with my neuro-ophthalmologist, who was amazing and always listened. With one look and one touch, he sensed that something was terribly wrong. I had rebound tenderness, and he tried to send me to the ER. I cried and explained they wouldn’t help me, and he made some calls as I headed to my primary physician for a scan.
Once there, lying on the floor because I couldn’t sit up, people walked over me as the five o’clock timecards were punched. Again, with no help, my husband called 911 from within the medical building walls. I was rushed to a different hospital for emergency surgery for a ruptured ovarian cyst with torsion. Due to the delay in treatment, the size of the ovary, and necrosis, I was cut from hip to hip and lost not only my ovary but my fallopian tube as well.
As women, we face so many barriers, and our healthcare certainly is one of them. Speaking up and being proactive about our physical health is not only crucial but also necessary for our mental health. Self-advocacy is not only about our own empowerment, it is about women as a whole. I was told my “high pain tolerance” was the reason I was not believed, yet I know better. We need to refuse to settle for things that don’t feel right. To fight for ourselves and be our best advocate. There needs to be a cultural shift where women’s health is prioritized for all of us and believed. Physical health and mental health.
If you are struggling with physical health symptoms or mental health symptoms and you feel you need a safe place to process your experience call to schedule a free 15-minute consultation today.
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